5 signs you’re just not that into FIFA

Friends, it's time to come out of the closet

KARACHI: So FIFA World Cup 2018 is going on and I’d be lying if I pretended to know anything but that. Every time I come across a tweet or status update regarding the football event of the year, I quickly scroll down. If someone brings it up in a conversation, I nod my head till another person responds to the first ones comment. Yep, that’s me. And I’ve maintained silence over this matter only because I fear for my life. But last night, I decided this is it. I’m sure there are others out there who are like me. So here I am, pouring my heart out. If you can self-diagnose yourself with the same signs and symptoms then hello to you from the land of the shunned.

1. You have no idea who is playing 

Or who is winning. Or what is happening. Or anything at all.

2. You don’t understand the jargon of the game 

Goal? What? Penalty? What?

3. You keep trying to make sense of football using cricket as an example

But there are no similarities.

4. You can only think of Japan, Spain, Germany etc as countries you wish to visit 

But not as sports teams. Because they don’t play cricket!

5. But you still continue to nod away when people discuss FIFA because you don’t want to be judged

Ugh. The peer pressure.

Tbh, I couldn’t even find it in myself to Google anything about the tournament even while writing the story. Yeh haal hai. 

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