KARACHI: If you’re an unmarried woman in your 20s, chances are you’ve heard the phrases “Shaadi kab karogi?”, “Umar nikal jaegi”, “Bachay kese paida karogi?” countless times.
One would think that these comments/questions would stop once you get married. But nope (you wish)! One month into your marriage — okay, I might be dragging this a little — one WEEK into the marriage and people will start pestering you with questions such as: “Any good news?”, “Family bari kab horahi hai?”, and strangely even, “Saas kesi hai tumhari?” And God-forbid if you put on weight after you’re marriage, they’ll keep a keen eye on all the parts that have now become “bigger”.
While marriage can be an significant part of one’s life, it’s important to realise that there are more pressing questions you could ask your married friends. Here’s a list of some questions that one could ask instead of the useless ones mentioned above:
1. How was the wedding for you?
The bride and the groom are exhausted after all the gazillion festivities come to a close. And often something or the other goes wrong during the wedding; it’s an overwhelming experience. Maybe ask them if everything was smooth sailing? Try to take them out for a spa day to help them relax.
2. Are you happy?
It takes a simple ‘tum khush ho?’ to make someone feel that you care about them.
3. Are you and your significant other finding enough time for each other with your busy schedules?
Okay, this can be a little personal but at least it can make your married friend feel like someone’s looking out for their well-being. And if they tell you they’re unable to manage, offer them advice, don’t force or shame them for not making time.
4. What are you guys planning for the future?
No we do not mean babies. The future does not mean tiny humans for everyone. Maybe the couple wants to move to a new house, a city or even a new country or has other goals. It’s also important to ask them what they aspire to do individually. One should realise that a person does not lose his or her individuality after marriage, so try to ask more about your friend – as a friend, not as someone’s wife or husband.
5. I’m here if you need any thing
This goes for everyone — married or single. Offering help to someone is one of the biggest ways of showing that you care. So troubled or not, at least your friend will know to count on you if needed.
Go ahead, and ask these questions.