How to mourn the defeat of your favourite party

A few tips on how to move on

KARACHI: Were you team arrow or team tiger this year? Or were you supporting dolphins instead? Even if you’re only moderately politically aware, you’ll know that these are all symbols of some of Pakistan’s political parties and you’ll also know what all these symbols have in common: they seem to be losing to Imran Khan’s balla.

The Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf seems to be winning the elections this year, (we’re still waiting for the final voting count) which is why the streets last night were filled with celebratory rallies of Insafians waving the PTI flag, chanting Imran Khan’s name and feeling elated and hopeful for the future of Pakistan.

But some were crying their eyes out instead because they didn’t get to dance to Bija Teer Bija or Jibran Nasir’s Hum Mein Se Aik. So, if you didn’t vote for PTI, you could use the following list for some tips on how to move on:

1. Go into denial

Reject all voting results on account of dhaandli and do a sit-in in front of the future prime minister’s house.

2. Write a book

Because God knows we could use more books about our favourite politicians — factual or not.

3. Call in sick at work

“Hello, I can’t come in today on account of being scared for Pakistan’s democratic future.”

4. Take a vacation

To a remote island that is far away from Pakistan and has no TV or Wifi so you don’t know what’s happening for the next five years.

5. Throw an actual party

If you can’t beat em, join em. Why not throw an actual party and forget about your political party’s loss?

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