KARACHI: It has recently come to light that Bahria University has announced a set of rules for its students to adhere to. The most popular rule is the six inch rule which states that boys and girls must maintain a distance of six inches while either sitting or standing together.
While it’s commendable that the university is taking such steps to ensure halal communication on campus, there are some other areas that the university is perhaps failing to notice. Sexual indecency is a rampant problem and must be looked for in every nook and cranny! Therefore, we’re proposing some more rules that BU should enforce:
1. More than one girl cannot use the washroom at the same time
Because we all know what really goes on in girls washrooms.
2. Males and females must not look at each other directly
They should hold a mirror at all times and only see each other’s reflection
3. The length of your pants must be calculated using the following equation: ax2 + bx + c = 0
Yeah you’ll need to brush up on your math a little but isn’t that why you’re attending a university? TO LEARN?
4. Students can only be on campus as long as there’s daylight
Because it has been proven that the school was built on a graveyard and that the teachers turn into blood-sucking vampires (as if they aren’t like that during the day already)
5. Students are not allowed to smile or look happy
They should have a studious look on their faces at all times because the only reason a student can be happy is if he/she is less than six inches away from his/her classmates.
6. Students must not hang together in groups
Because groups = orgy.