Questions you’re tired of answering if you’re a Punjabi living in Karachi

KARACHI: If your family is Punjabi but you’re born and raised in Karachi then you already know the struggle. Oh and damn you noon league for ruining our social standing. As if it wasn’t hard enough already.

Anway so that’s that. But here’s another thing: The city of lights is a diverse metropolis housing people of different ethnicity, religion and race. However, that still doesn’t stop people from being any less intrigued to meet someone who isn’t a Sindhi Sunni Muslim.

Hence the questions:

1. Are you from Lahore?

First of all, there are 30+ cities in Punjab, Pakistan. Second of all, my forefathers came to Karachi long time back and so did yours probably . Third of all, shut up.

2. You’re eating Biryani. Don’t Punjabis like Pulao more?

We eat whatever we get. No, seriously.

3. Do you speak Punjabi?

Sometimes. When I visit my pind behind Quaid’s mazaar.

Read: Questions Pakistani Christians are tired of answering

4. OMG! Can you teach me how to speak Punjabi?

Sure. I can teach you all the three phrases I know: Ulloo da patha, dur fittey mou, chak de phattey.

5. You voted for PML-N, didn’t you? All you punjos looooove noon-league.

No because being Punjabi isn’t synonymous with being a PML-N supporter.

6. I want to come to your house. Will your mom make saagh and makai ki roti?

She doesn’t even know how to make S in saagh. But can I interest you in some instant noodles?

7. How come you’re mellow, aren’t Punjabis supposed to be all loud and rowdy?

I can raise my voice but you might not like it.

8. Can you do bhangra?

Totally. Here’s a video of me doing it:

9. So where are your forefathers from, Amritsar, Chandigarh, Bathinda?

Try Gujranwala, Sheikhupara, Khanewal because the places you mentioned aren’t in Pakistan. You’d know that if you watched less of Bollywood and more of well…a map?

The list can go on and on but I just got called a paindoo so I gotta go deal with that. Also koi doubt mat rakhna dil main about me not retaliating because Punjaban hoon main Karachi ki.

But you hang in there and use the gift of saanu ki (translation: what do I care?) that our ancestors so graciously left us with!